Why Having A Good Marriage Is Not The Priority

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Why Having A Good Marriage Is Not The Priority

We love 2BRealMagazine contributors and Mrs White is no ordinary woman.


Recognised in the UK as a blogger and Facebook revivalist when it comes to keeping it real for the younger generation, she put an interesting moment of clarity into perspective on her latest blog post which we had to share with you all.


So enjoy!



I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline today and I saw a picture which said:

‘Marriage doesn’t take two people; it takes three. You cannot have a good marriage if God is not in the centre of it.’

It had been liked by a few thousand people and at first, I agreed then I started to ponder on it for a short time.



We see wonderful couples with strong marriages all the time who are not believers in Jesus so what is added to our marriage by putting God at the centre? Goodness. Not completely. Marriage is an institution created by God to bring glory to Himself first and foremost and that the aim of our Christian walk is to become like Him. So how does this happen if there are couples who have been happily married 20,30,40,50+ years without knowing the Saviour?

Putting God at the centre is not solely to give us a good marriage but to cultivate a godly marriage. Putting God at the centre of our marriage is not solely to make us happy but to make us holy.

Having a good marriage is noble but you don’t necessarily need God for that otherwise every good marriage on Earth would ONLY be between Christians and by looking at divorce rates in the Church we know that is not true.



To have a good marriage requires communication, financial integrity, trust, honesty etc. These are principles related to your character, relational skills etc and how well you get to know a person before marriage.

To have a godly, holy, consecrated, sanctified AND loving marriage you need all that plus: – to put God at the centre of your marriage, die to yourself daily, prayer, fasting and all that comes with this. This is about how much you love the Lord and as we surrender every aspect of our lives to the Lord we become more like Him and He gets the glory. To do this we need the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit helps us to do the things we cannot do in our own strength. We sharpen our spouse in the Lord and our spouse sharpens us in the Lord.



See the difference? Is it bad to want a happy and good marriage? Absolutely not! However, for believers, it is important for us to realise that happiness and goodness are by-products of holiness and godliness.

What if by mentioning from the outset that a godly marriage requires death to our flesh more individuals would enter such a covenant with the fear of the Lord, instead of solely the hype of planning a wedding? (I’m not saying not to be excited.)


What if by teaching that the priority in a Christian Kingdom-centered marriage is godliness and holiness couples won’t check out so quickly when we’re not happy? What if some found the strength to hold on to their marriage understanding there is a deeper purpose in the chaos?


‘And not only that but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.’- Romans 5:3-5


I know it’s not as easy as that and that various situations in a marriage can occur that can send you into a whirlwind however my point is to remember one of God’s key intentions for marriage that is often overlooked. It’s not all glitz and glamour, there is real work involved and when teaching on marriage balance is required to reflect thisToo many just get married to just have sex and not to work. Marriage is a ministry and should not be entered lightly.


So yes, a Kingdom-centered marriage really does take three people (both spouses and the Holy Spirit) but there is more than just good to come out of this three-strand cord that cannot easily be broken. Remember, the aim of a Kingdom-centered marriage should be to please the Father and to become more like Him, together.


Until next time,

Ash White

About The Author

The UK's No.1 For Urban Gospel Daily Living


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